The Fine Print

The plane ride was long. Food was scarce. By the time my flight landed in Las Vegas I was ready for a meal. But first things first. I was in town to run the Las Vegas Marathon. My parents picked me up at the airport and I asked them to take me to the Race Expo so that I could pick up my race packet and be done with it. I hinted a few times that a bite to eat would be nice but the plan called for ordering pizza, so I was just going to have to wait.

Traffic was terrible and finding the Expo proved to be quite the challenge. Once we finally arrived, I quickly picked up my packet, scanned the Expo for anything of interest and then we were on our way back to the car.

Sitting in the back seat, trying to divert my attention from my dad's driving, I rifled through my race goodie bag. The bag contained the standard assortment of race pamphlets and advertisements. But wait, what's this? Jackpot! A small bag of peanut butter cookies. I had never heard of the brand and barely looked at the logo of a smiling dog as I quickly tore open the bag and shoved two cookies in my mouth. I asked my parents if they would like a cookie and handed one to my dad and then had another cookie for myself.

At this point, the hunger instinct has begun to subside and I start to notice the flavor. They don't really taste like peanut butter. I comment that these cookies aren't very good and my dad quickly adds, they taste like shit!

I look down at the package and for the first time notice the words "dog biscuits". I start laughing and tell my dad what we are eating. He doesn't want to believe me. Let me see the bag, he says. I lean forward and show him the bag. SON OF A BITCH! he exclaims as we all start laughing hysterically.

When we arrive at the house, the first thing I do is offer my brother a cookie.