Mending Fences

Immigration. One of the best wedge issues out there right now. It's an automatic winner, right up there with homophobia. Damn illegal immigrants. How dare you change my sheets for minimum wage? How dare you park my car so I can go spend $200 on a meal?

But at last, the United States has found a way to get rid of these immigrants, once and for all. The plan is to build a fence. That's right...a fence. We'll spend millions of tax payer dollars to build a fence and that will keep these people out of our country...for good.

You see, Mexicans apparently can't climb fences. Nor are they able to dig holes under fences or work a pair of wire cutters to cut through the fences. So the plan is infallible. Build the multi-million dollar fence and "bye-bye Mexicans."

As for making your bed, changing your sheets, cleaning your room, plowing your fields, picking your harvest, parking your car...you're on your own, rich people.

My advice, to compensate for the added inconvenience, buy stock in ACME Fence Cutters of Mexico. Their stock is about to soar.