Tuesday, December 30, 2008
God Radio
We lost our local Air America station (again) last week. We originally lost Air America shortly after the 2006 elections. It was supposedly dropped due to a lack of listeners. It was replaced by yet another right wing talk radio format and the stations ratings went off the charts. Literally. The ratings were so abysmal that the station failed to appear in the ratings.
So a year went by and another radio station decided to take a chance on Air America. Despite good ratings, they failed to garner enough advertising revenue and last week they switched to a Christian Radio format.
Let me just say, if you thought right wing radio was rife with nut jobs, Christian Radio brings a whole new level of cuckoo to the airwaves. I thought the Republicans were scary but compared to Christian radio, the right wingers come across as a rational, logical thinking lot.
The hate and nonsense that comes out of these people's mouths in the name of their GOD just blows me away. Dangerous, scary, irresponsible, ridiculous. It's all here.
Whether it is a preacher spewing venom toward gays and lesbians or a preacher telling adult married couples how to conduct their sex lives, the end result is always the same. Act the way we want you to or be rejected by God.
Fear and guilt can be powerful brainwashing tools. But it's all good because every single thing that I do every single moment of every day, I do because it is God's will. So me writing this was all part of God's plan. The preachers on the radio told me so.
So a year went by and another radio station decided to take a chance on Air America. Despite good ratings, they failed to garner enough advertising revenue and last week they switched to a Christian Radio format.
Let me just say, if you thought right wing radio was rife with nut jobs, Christian Radio brings a whole new level of cuckoo to the airwaves. I thought the Republicans were scary but compared to Christian radio, the right wingers come across as a rational, logical thinking lot.
The hate and nonsense that comes out of these people's mouths in the name of their GOD just blows me away. Dangerous, scary, irresponsible, ridiculous. It's all here.
Whether it is a preacher spewing venom toward gays and lesbians or a preacher telling adult married couples how to conduct their sex lives, the end result is always the same. Act the way we want you to or be rejected by God.
Fear and guilt can be powerful brainwashing tools. But it's all good because every single thing that I do every single moment of every day, I do because it is God's will. So me writing this was all part of God's plan. The preachers on the radio told me so.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Boston Training, Week 2
I'll try to keep this short. A very good week of running. I had to move Tuesday's workout to Wednesday due to an ice storm but other than that, the weather was pretty cooperative for December. I was even able to run in shorts a couple of days.
Wednesday, 8 mile hill workout. It was still icy and wet so I took it easy, 8:49 pace.
Thursday, 5 mile recovery run, 9:07 pace, legs were pretty sore.
Friday, 10 miles at GA pace, 8:30. Pace felt comfortable, piriformis felt OK.
Sunday, 13 miles, 3 miles of hills, then 7 miles on the bike path, and finished with 3 more miles of hills. 8;20 pace. Strong run, finished strong from mile 9 forward.
Quads were very sore on Friday and Saturday. Partly from hills, partly from running 3 days in a row this early in the training cycle. But sore quads are actually part of the plan for this training cycle. I need to strengthen the quads like never before. Otherwise, the Boston course will destroy my quads again.
The piriformis is holding up pretty well. I still have to ice it after each run and I still feel a low level pain most of the time when I'm running. But the pain is nothing like it used to be. Let's hope that trend continues.
Week 3 adds a 5th day of running and will land me at a 40 mile week as we gradually build toward 50-55 mile weeks. Starting to get my legs back already. I just have to be careful not to over do it.
Wednesday, 8 mile hill workout. It was still icy and wet so I took it easy, 8:49 pace.
Thursday, 5 mile recovery run, 9:07 pace, legs were pretty sore.
Friday, 10 miles at GA pace, 8:30. Pace felt comfortable, piriformis felt OK.
Sunday, 13 miles, 3 miles of hills, then 7 miles on the bike path, and finished with 3 more miles of hills. 8;20 pace. Strong run, finished strong from mile 9 forward.
Quads were very sore on Friday and Saturday. Partly from hills, partly from running 3 days in a row this early in the training cycle. But sore quads are actually part of the plan for this training cycle. I need to strengthen the quads like never before. Otherwise, the Boston course will destroy my quads again.
The piriformis is holding up pretty well. I still have to ice it after each run and I still feel a low level pain most of the time when I'm running. But the pain is nothing like it used to be. Let's hope that trend continues.
Week 3 adds a 5th day of running and will land me at a 40 mile week as we gradually build toward 50-55 mile weeks. Starting to get my legs back already. I just have to be careful not to over do it.
These Are The Shoes Of FREEDOM!
I try to stick with reliable sources but this one seems harmless enough even though it comes from Fox "news":
First lady Laura Bush said she was offended by the recent "assault" on her husband, who had two shoes thrown at him during a recent visit to Iraq. At the same time, however, she said the assault shows that Iraqis feel a lot freer than they did before.
"I know that if Saddam Hussein had been there the man wouldn't have been released, and probably would've been executed," she said of the Iraqi journalist, who was arrested following the Dec. 14 incident and has been in custody since.
Ah, Laura, I hardly ever pick on you but really now, the "assault" shows that Iraqis feel a lot freer than they did before?
In case you haven't noticed, the man was arrested (rightly so), beaten, had his hand broken, was forced to make a false confession implicating an "enemy" of the Iraqi leaders as the "ringleader" of the shoe throwing incident, and has NOT been released. Whether or not he will be executed, time will tell.
But if it makes you feel better to believe that Iraqis now feel free enough to throw a shoe, then you go right ahead, dear. And you just go right ahead and ignore all those Iraqis who are "offended" that your husband ordered the invasion of their country and killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people. Laura, feel "free" to keep ranting about those bad Iraqis "assaulting" your husband with shoes.
First lady Laura Bush said she was offended by the recent "assault" on her husband, who had two shoes thrown at him during a recent visit to Iraq. At the same time, however, she said the assault shows that Iraqis feel a lot freer than they did before.
"I know that if Saddam Hussein had been there the man wouldn't have been released, and probably would've been executed," she said of the Iraqi journalist, who was arrested following the Dec. 14 incident and has been in custody since.
Ah, Laura, I hardly ever pick on you but really now, the "assault" shows that Iraqis feel a lot freer than they did before?
In case you haven't noticed, the man was arrested (rightly so), beaten, had his hand broken, was forced to make a false confession implicating an "enemy" of the Iraqi leaders as the "ringleader" of the shoe throwing incident, and has NOT been released. Whether or not he will be executed, time will tell.
But if it makes you feel better to believe that Iraqis now feel free enough to throw a shoe, then you go right ahead, dear. And you just go right ahead and ignore all those Iraqis who are "offended" that your husband ordered the invasion of their country and killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people. Laura, feel "free" to keep ranting about those bad Iraqis "assaulting" your husband with shoes.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Another Quick Round Up
First, I promise to make time to get back to my political commentary in the very near future. There are several stories that I'm itching to rant about but with the holidays approaching, time is scarce. For now, just a quick round up.
I'm happy to report that on Sunday I heard Bob Costas announce that it was indeed impossible for a team (or anyone else for that matter) to control their own fate or destiny. Thank you, Bob, for getting my message out there so promptly. Then, on Monday, I heard a sportscaster on the radio repeatedly say that (insert team here) "controlled their own path to the playoffs." Much better, boys. Glad we were finally able to sort that out.
Fantasy Football update: I had 3 teams playing for championships this past weekend but I went 1-2. I did manage to win the highly prestigious RT Marathoner's League Championship, so at least I have bragging rights there. I have one more team that advanced to the championship for this coming weekend. Overall, a pretty solid season. Four teams finishing no worse than second and one team finishing sixth in a twelve team league. I'll take it.
It looks like Al Franken is going to win in Minnesota. I'm still waiting for Coleman to concede, you know, to save the taxpayers the money it costs to pay for the recount. He was all about asking Franken to concede when Coleman had the lead. Funny, how things changed as soon as the shoe was on the other foot.
More Limbaugh lunacy yesterday. First, he tried to frame the "Bush Recession" as the "Obama Recession". Now that he has failed in that attempt, his latest gimmick is to allege a vast far left wing conspiracy for the current economic crisis. Yes, you see, the weak Democratic Party, who held no political power, were somehow able to "manufacture" the recession, the Wall Street collapse, the Auto Industry collapse, the banking fraud/crisis, etc. all in an attempt to make Bush look bad and to get Obama elected. Apparently, Limbaugh has moved on from Oxycontin to hallucinogens. He must be right. It can't have anything to do with deregulation and the Bush foxes guarding the hen houses. Nah, must be the Democrats.
Marc Dann, WTF? You must be a bigger dumb ass than any of us could have imagined. It just goes to show, you can take the (former) Attorney General out of Youngstown but you can't take the Youngstown out of the Attorney General.
OK, gotta run. I want to touch on the Bush/Cheney Legacy Tour as soon as I have time. Good, funny, revisionist history, dementia, and/or pathological lying going on there. Fun, fun, fun.
I'm happy to report that on Sunday I heard Bob Costas announce that it was indeed impossible for a team (or anyone else for that matter) to control their own fate or destiny. Thank you, Bob, for getting my message out there so promptly. Then, on Monday, I heard a sportscaster on the radio repeatedly say that (insert team here) "controlled their own path to the playoffs." Much better, boys. Glad we were finally able to sort that out.
Fantasy Football update: I had 3 teams playing for championships this past weekend but I went 1-2. I did manage to win the highly prestigious RT Marathoner's League Championship, so at least I have bragging rights there. I have one more team that advanced to the championship for this coming weekend. Overall, a pretty solid season. Four teams finishing no worse than second and one team finishing sixth in a twelve team league. I'll take it.
It looks like Al Franken is going to win in Minnesota. I'm still waiting for Coleman to concede, you know, to save the taxpayers the money it costs to pay for the recount. He was all about asking Franken to concede when Coleman had the lead. Funny, how things changed as soon as the shoe was on the other foot.
More Limbaugh lunacy yesterday. First, he tried to frame the "Bush Recession" as the "Obama Recession". Now that he has failed in that attempt, his latest gimmick is to allege a vast far left wing conspiracy for the current economic crisis. Yes, you see, the weak Democratic Party, who held no political power, were somehow able to "manufacture" the recession, the Wall Street collapse, the Auto Industry collapse, the banking fraud/crisis, etc. all in an attempt to make Bush look bad and to get Obama elected. Apparently, Limbaugh has moved on from Oxycontin to hallucinogens. He must be right. It can't have anything to do with deregulation and the Bush foxes guarding the hen houses. Nah, must be the Democrats.
Marc Dann, WTF? You must be a bigger dumb ass than any of us could have imagined. It just goes to show, you can take the (former) Attorney General out of Youngstown but you can't take the Youngstown out of the Attorney General.
OK, gotta run. I want to touch on the Bush/Cheney Legacy Tour as soon as I have time. Good, funny, revisionist history, dementia, and/or pathological lying going on there. Fun, fun, fun.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Fantasy Fix 2
It's week 16 of the NFL season and more importantly, Fantasy Football Championship week. I had 5 teams this year and 4 of them are still alive. Today, I have 3 teams playing for championships and a 4th team in the semi-finals of a 17 week league.
I'm in the championship in the 2 leagues that I care the most about, the Marathoner's League and the $$$ League. In the $$$ League, my line up is set and all I can do is sit and wait for the results. In the Marathoner's League, I have a key decision to make. I need to replace the injured Anquan Boldin (a stud) with one of several unattractive options in the flex position. I have to choose from Justin Fargas, Jonathan Stewart, and Cedric Benson.
I don't trust Fargas this week because I have a feeling that Oakland is going to lean on McFadden the final two weeks to see what they have for next season. Normally, Stewart is a solid option but this week I really don't like him against a tough Giants defense. Benson is never a good choice although he is playing against a pretty bad Cleveland run defense. He also showed signs of life last week against the Redskins.
So I'm forced to roll the dice and the winner is Cedric Benson. All I can do is hope for the best. In his favor, he will be the primary ball carrier, whereas the other two choices will be sharing carries with another back. Second, he is running for his career. He needs to show other teams that he can play in the NFL if he wants to have a job next year. Third, looking at his production (or lack thereof) over the last few weeks, I noticed that he has been playing against some pretty tough defenses including Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and Philadelphia. Even premier RBs look bad against those teams. Finally, Benson has been running his mouth lately and he's going to feel the need to back it up.
I may regret this decision by the end of the day but sadly, I really think he is my best option this week. And now I have an excuse to watch the pathetic Cleveland/Cincinnati game while the rest of the country gets to watch the Steelers/Titans.
I'm in the championship in the 2 leagues that I care the most about, the Marathoner's League and the $$$ League. In the $$$ League, my line up is set and all I can do is sit and wait for the results. In the Marathoner's League, I have a key decision to make. I need to replace the injured Anquan Boldin (a stud) with one of several unattractive options in the flex position. I have to choose from Justin Fargas, Jonathan Stewart, and Cedric Benson.
I don't trust Fargas this week because I have a feeling that Oakland is going to lean on McFadden the final two weeks to see what they have for next season. Normally, Stewart is a solid option but this week I really don't like him against a tough Giants defense. Benson is never a good choice although he is playing against a pretty bad Cleveland run defense. He also showed signs of life last week against the Redskins.
So I'm forced to roll the dice and the winner is Cedric Benson. All I can do is hope for the best. In his favor, he will be the primary ball carrier, whereas the other two choices will be sharing carries with another back. Second, he is running for his career. He needs to show other teams that he can play in the NFL if he wants to have a job next year. Third, looking at his production (or lack thereof) over the last few weeks, I noticed that he has been playing against some pretty tough defenses including Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and Philadelphia. Even premier RBs look bad against those teams. Finally, Benson has been running his mouth lately and he's going to feel the need to back it up.
I may regret this decision by the end of the day but sadly, I really think he is my best option this week. And now I have an excuse to watch the pathetic Cleveland/Cincinnati game while the rest of the country gets to watch the Steelers/Titans.
Boston Training, Week 1
Week 1 of Boston Marathon training is just about in the books. I still have to run an easy pace 4 mile recovery run this morning to make week 1 officially done. I'm going to try to post at least a weekly training log, mostly for myself, so I can go back later if anything goes wrong and look for training errors, etc. So if you're bored by running talk, feel free to skip these posts.
I had been debating whether or not to train with the MIT "advanced" group and finally decided that I needed to go this one alone. Having run Boston last year, I feel like I have a good idea of what I'll need to do to be ready for it this year and I just didn't think that training with a group would be very helpful this time around.
So I'm loosely following the Pfitzinger 18/55 (18 weeks/ peaking at 55 miles per week)plan, but I'll be adding hill work to all of my GA (general aerobic) runs and I'll be modifying my speed work to better fit the demands of Boston. I'll also be running at least 6 miles of hills during every LR (long run).
The Boston course is less about speed and more about mere survival. My training will be based primarily on making sure that my body is able to handle the constant up and down of the rolling hills in the first half and then the monster hills in the second half.
OK. Week 1 was supposed to start with a 7 miler with 10 x 100meter strides. I decided to do a 7 mile hill workout but the freezing rain had other ideas. I was slipping with just about every step as I made my way up the second hill so I decided to detour over to the bike path where it was mostly flat, so that I could at least get the miles in. Once on the bike path, I decided to run Thursday's workout instead since it was 9 miles GA. So I ran 9 slow miles (8:55 pace) on the ice and was just happy to get the workout in. I did manage to run 3 hills, so it wasn't a total loss.
Coming into this week, I was pretty happy about how my piriformis was feeling. I had injured it in April and the heeling process has been slow and gradual. But lately, it has been feeling a lot better and occasionally didn't hurt at all. However, during the 9 miler, I had to constantly adjust my stride to compensate for the ice and my piriformis didn't like it one bit.
Anyway, Thursday night the weather was much better and I was able to do the 7 mile hill workout. My piriformis was bothering me so I took what it would give me and ran at 8:26 pace.
Saturday was a 12 miler. I started with 3 miles of hills, then hit the bike path for 6 miles and finished with 3 more miles of hills. The bike path south of Antrim Lake was just icy enough to be an issue but the piriformis came through OK. I ran at 8:32 pace, which was fine. No need to be out there pushing the pace in week 1. I finished feeling like I could have run a lot longer so that was definitely a positive.
Today will be 4 miles at recovery pace. Nice and easy.
So week 1 starts with 32 miles total. By week 3, I'll be at 40. I'll spend most of January running 40-48 miles per week. February will be 50-55 mile weeks. March will be the same and then I will taper in April and finally race. I have two half marathons scheduled, which will be treated as training runs. One is flat and local. The other is hilly and a road trip. I need a smart training cycle. No mistakes. Last year, I tried to do too much and I'm still paying for it.
I had been debating whether or not to train with the MIT "advanced" group and finally decided that I needed to go this one alone. Having run Boston last year, I feel like I have a good idea of what I'll need to do to be ready for it this year and I just didn't think that training with a group would be very helpful this time around.
So I'm loosely following the Pfitzinger 18/55 (18 weeks/ peaking at 55 miles per week)plan, but I'll be adding hill work to all of my GA (general aerobic) runs and I'll be modifying my speed work to better fit the demands of Boston. I'll also be running at least 6 miles of hills during every LR (long run).
The Boston course is less about speed and more about mere survival. My training will be based primarily on making sure that my body is able to handle the constant up and down of the rolling hills in the first half and then the monster hills in the second half.
OK. Week 1 was supposed to start with a 7 miler with 10 x 100meter strides. I decided to do a 7 mile hill workout but the freezing rain had other ideas. I was slipping with just about every step as I made my way up the second hill so I decided to detour over to the bike path where it was mostly flat, so that I could at least get the miles in. Once on the bike path, I decided to run Thursday's workout instead since it was 9 miles GA. So I ran 9 slow miles (8:55 pace) on the ice and was just happy to get the workout in. I did manage to run 3 hills, so it wasn't a total loss.
Coming into this week, I was pretty happy about how my piriformis was feeling. I had injured it in April and the heeling process has been slow and gradual. But lately, it has been feeling a lot better and occasionally didn't hurt at all. However, during the 9 miler, I had to constantly adjust my stride to compensate for the ice and my piriformis didn't like it one bit.
Anyway, Thursday night the weather was much better and I was able to do the 7 mile hill workout. My piriformis was bothering me so I took what it would give me and ran at 8:26 pace.
Saturday was a 12 miler. I started with 3 miles of hills, then hit the bike path for 6 miles and finished with 3 more miles of hills. The bike path south of Antrim Lake was just icy enough to be an issue but the piriformis came through OK. I ran at 8:32 pace, which was fine. No need to be out there pushing the pace in week 1. I finished feeling like I could have run a lot longer so that was definitely a positive.
Today will be 4 miles at recovery pace. Nice and easy.
So week 1 starts with 32 miles total. By week 3, I'll be at 40. I'll spend most of January running 40-48 miles per week. February will be 50-55 mile weeks. March will be the same and then I will taper in April and finally race. I have two half marathons scheduled, which will be treated as training runs. One is flat and local. The other is hilly and a road trip. I need a smart training cycle. No mistakes. Last year, I tried to do too much and I'm still paying for it.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Duh's Last White House Christmas Video
OK. I have to assume that this video is legit. But seriously, WTF? Who paid for this? And why? I'm still sitting here with a befuddled look on my face. This is one of the dumbest, weirdest, creepiest things I've ever seen. Enjoy?
Oh, and if you feel the need to throw a shoe, please remember that you will only hurt your monitor, not the intended recipient.
Oh, and if you feel the need to throw a shoe, please remember that you will only hurt your monitor, not the intended recipient.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Smell This Shoe
By now, you've heard and probably seen this video of the Iraqi journalist calling Duh a "dog" and throwing his shoes at him, which is considered a grave insult in Muslim culture.
This got me thinking. What would happen if a foreign nation made up lies about the USA, illegally invaded and occupied our country, overthrew our government, publicly executed our President, all while killing hundreds of thousands of innocent American citizens, over the course of several years, with no end in sight?
If after years and years of being "liberated" by these foreign invaders, you finally had an opportunity to be in the same room as the man most responsible for all of the death and pain and suffering inflicted upon your fellow citizens, you'd probably want to do more to this man than just throw your shoes at him. Yes?
We've Got A Feeling...
This is the screenshot of the "controversial" touchdown catch. Followed by the actual video and replays.
I watched the Steelers defeat the Ravens yesterday on this last minute touchdown pass from Ben Roethlisberger to Santonio Holmes. My initial reaction when watching the game live was to call it a touchdown, scream at the refs to call it a touchdown, then scream for Mike Tomlin to throw the challenge flag when the refs declared that it wasn't a touchdown. Then I watched the slow motion replays that confirmed that it was indeed a touchdown.
After review, the referees finally got the call right and awarded the Steelers the touchdown. I watched the final few seconds of the game then went upstairs to help get the kids ready for bed.
A couple of hours later, while watching the Cowboys vs Giants game, they announced that at halftime they would be discussing the "controversy" in the Ravens vs Steelers game. I was a bit shocked. My first thought was, "what controversy?". Little did I know that a full blown controversy had erupted over the officials correcting their call.
I didn't bother to watch the halftime show and actually forgot all about it until this morning when I tuned in to sports radio and they were talking about this "controversy". Two feet in, control of the ball, ball crosses plain of the goal line, which is ANY part of the white line. Looking at the screen shot, can you tell me which part of the ball, if any, ISN'T on or past the white goal line?
Watch it at full speed. Watch it in slow motion. Any way you look at it the result is the same. Touchdown. It's close, but it's definitely a touchdown. I've never seen so much controversy over a ref getting a call right.
Oh wait, yes I did. Big Ben's TD in Superbowl XL. And the Ravens fans are now behaving just like the Seahawks fans did at the time. Blame the refs. Well, just like in Super Bowl XL, in yesterday's game there were a lot of bad calls that did and didn't get called for both teams. That's part of sports. Winners overcome adversity. Losers apparently blame the refs.
The bottom line is that the Ravens (and the Seahawks before them) had probably 100 plays over the course of the game to make things happen for their teams. They failed. Yesterday, the Ravens let the Steelers hang around and hang around and finally the Steelers made them pay. The Ravens defense failed to stop a 92 yard drive with under 3 minutes to play. THAT'S why they lost the game.
UPDATE: NFL backs ruling on Steelers' winning touchdown.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
GOP Logic Part 2
Here is the link to an excellent article that goes into great detail about the media and how they are trying to create an Obama scandal out of nothing, much like they did to the Clinton's re: Whitewater. It's a long article but well worth the read. It takes a much more serious and detailed look at the topic that I had fun with in yesterday's blog post. Enjoy!
Friday, December 12, 2008
GOP Logic
In the latest round of "guilt by non-association", the GOP spin doctors are now trying to link Obama to Blagojevich. I've been thinking about this and I think they're right. Let's take a look at their "facts".
Blagojevich and Obama are Illinois politicians. Blagojevich is allegedly corrupt. Therefore, all Illinois politicians must be corrupt.
See how obvious this is?
Let's try another one.
Senator Larry Craig was arrested by a male undercover police officer in an airport bathroom for soliciting sex.
Larry Craig is a Republican Senator. Larry Craig allegedly likes to have sex with men in airport bathrooms. Therefore, all Republican Senators must like to have sex with men in airport bathrooms.
Wow. I'm really starting to get the hang of this. Feel free to come up with some of your own.
Blagojevich and Obama are Illinois politicians. Blagojevich is allegedly corrupt. Therefore, all Illinois politicians must be corrupt.
See how obvious this is?
Let's try another one.
Senator Larry Craig was arrested by a male undercover police officer in an airport bathroom for soliciting sex.
Larry Craig is a Republican Senator. Larry Craig allegedly likes to have sex with men in airport bathrooms. Therefore, all Republican Senators must like to have sex with men in airport bathrooms.
Wow. I'm really starting to get the hang of this. Feel free to come up with some of your own.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Quick Round Up
Just a few random thoughts this morning.
People get paid enormous amounts of money to sit in front of a TV camera and read the news from a teleprompter. Is it asking too much for these people to actually be able to pronounce all of the words that they are reading?
Do we really need High School Football "National" rankings? How can anyone possibly know which teams are actually the best and more importantly, who cares?
O'Reilly is once again doing his fake "War on Christmas" segment. Seriously, does anyone REALLY think there is a war on Christmas? I don't think Christmas is in any type of imminent danger. The Winter Solstice, however...Winter Solstice? What's a Winter Solstice?
And speaking of made up "Wars", whatever happened to the "War on Drugs"? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that Drugs won that "war". Just say blow.
In the "nice try" category, kudos to Limbaugh and Hannity for trying to frame the mess that Duh has made of our Country as the "Obama Recession". But along came that gosh darn fictional liberal media again, and golly gee they went and used those "facts" to show that the "Bush Recession" has been in full swing for the past eleven months. Damn those "facts" and their liberal bias.
Sportscasters, repeat after me, by definition, it is impossible to "control your own destiny". It can't be done. So stop saying it. Come up with a better way to say that all teams have to do is keep winning to make the playoffs. You get paid a lot of money to sit there and pretend to be experts. It shouldn't be too hard to come up with a couple of more accurate phrases to make your point.
And John Madden, "audibilize" is not a word. A quarterback can "call an audible" but he can not "audibilize". And don't get me started on "strategize".
Which brings me to my all time favorite, "it is what it is". Shut up! That doesn't mean anything. Stop saying it. You hear me, Coach Tressel?
Sorry to mix sports and politics this morning, but hey, it is what it is.
People get paid enormous amounts of money to sit in front of a TV camera and read the news from a teleprompter. Is it asking too much for these people to actually be able to pronounce all of the words that they are reading?
Do we really need High School Football "National" rankings? How can anyone possibly know which teams are actually the best and more importantly, who cares?
O'Reilly is once again doing his fake "War on Christmas" segment. Seriously, does anyone REALLY think there is a war on Christmas? I don't think Christmas is in any type of imminent danger. The Winter Solstice, however...Winter Solstice? What's a Winter Solstice?
And speaking of made up "Wars", whatever happened to the "War on Drugs"? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that Drugs won that "war". Just say blow.
In the "nice try" category, kudos to Limbaugh and Hannity for trying to frame the mess that Duh has made of our Country as the "Obama Recession". But along came that gosh darn fictional liberal media again, and golly gee they went and used those "facts" to show that the "Bush Recession" has been in full swing for the past eleven months. Damn those "facts" and their liberal bias.
Sportscasters, repeat after me, by definition, it is impossible to "control your own destiny". It can't be done. So stop saying it. Come up with a better way to say that all teams have to do is keep winning to make the playoffs. You get paid a lot of money to sit there and pretend to be experts. It shouldn't be too hard to come up with a couple of more accurate phrases to make your point.
And John Madden, "audibilize" is not a word. A quarterback can "call an audible" but he can not "audibilize". And don't get me started on "strategize".
Which brings me to my all time favorite, "it is what it is". Shut up! That doesn't mean anything. Stop saying it. You hear me, Coach Tressel?
Sorry to mix sports and politics this morning, but hey, it is what it is.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Traditional Marriage Per The Bible
This comes from the Daily Kos. I thought you might like it.
In short, if we are to let the Bible define what "traditional marriage" should look like, then our marriage laws should be amended as such:
A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
In short, if we are to let the Bible define what "traditional marriage" should look like, then our marriage laws should be amended as such:
A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
Boston Prep Part 2
There is a running group in town called MIT (Marathoners in Training) that my wife runs with. They have an "advanced' group that is coached by the guy who won the 2007 Columbus Marathon. They have very specific eligibility requirements including a marathon PR of 3:20 or better.
So I've been thinking about running with these guys to help me prepare for Boston. I can see advantages to training with fast guys but also a few very big reasons to just say no. On the one hand, it would be nice to have guys who will push me on every run but with my 3:19 PR, I would certainly be one of the slowest guys out there. So I'm wondering if it would be worth it to train hard with these guys and try to improve my speed or if I would just end up with an injury from trying to do too much.
I mean, I'm smart enough to realize that I can no longer keep up with these young guys. But I'm also stubborn enough to try anyway. Can I trust myself to back off when necessary?
The other factor is training plans. I would have to take a close look at the training plan they will be following and decide if it is right for me. Having run Boston last year, I have a good idea of what it will take for me to achieve the results that I'm looking for this time. And I might just be better off following my own training plan, training alone, and lining up on race day healthy, fired up, and ready to race.
So I guess I'm leaning toward following my own training plan but it sure would be nice to be out there suffering with other idiots when it is minus ten degrees and we have to run a 20 miler. I'll have to decide for sure before Saturday.
So I've been thinking about running with these guys to help me prepare for Boston. I can see advantages to training with fast guys but also a few very big reasons to just say no. On the one hand, it would be nice to have guys who will push me on every run but with my 3:19 PR, I would certainly be one of the slowest guys out there. So I'm wondering if it would be worth it to train hard with these guys and try to improve my speed or if I would just end up with an injury from trying to do too much.
I mean, I'm smart enough to realize that I can no longer keep up with these young guys. But I'm also stubborn enough to try anyway. Can I trust myself to back off when necessary?
The other factor is training plans. I would have to take a close look at the training plan they will be following and decide if it is right for me. Having run Boston last year, I have a good idea of what it will take for me to achieve the results that I'm looking for this time. And I might just be better off following my own training plan, training alone, and lining up on race day healthy, fired up, and ready to race.
So I guess I'm leaning toward following my own training plan but it sure would be nice to be out there suffering with other idiots when it is minus ten degrees and we have to run a 20 miler. I'll have to decide for sure before Saturday.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Fantasy Fix
In my lame, pathetic, world of fantasy football addiction, I am happy to report that all 5 of my teams have made the playoffs. I also advanced to the semi-finals in both leagues in which the playoffs began in week 14, upsetting the # 3 seed in the Marathoner's League and knocking off the # 1 seed in another league.
Knocking off the # 1 seed was especially gratifying for two reasons. First, I was the # 8 seed with a 6-7 record (14 team league). But, my team was first in the league in total points scored. So I almost missed the playoffs altogether despite having the top scoring team in the league. Second, my opponent took over sole possession of first place around week 8 and immediately changed the name of his team to "I'm # 1 punks". So it was truly a pleasure to knock him on his ass and bring an abrupt end to his season. Who's # 1 now, punk?
I know, I take this stuff way too seriously. I can't help it. I'm competitive.
Knocking off the # 1 seed was especially gratifying for two reasons. First, I was the # 8 seed with a 6-7 record (14 team league). But, my team was first in the league in total points scored. So I almost missed the playoffs altogether despite having the top scoring team in the league. Second, my opponent took over sole possession of first place around week 8 and immediately changed the name of his team to "I'm # 1 punks". So it was truly a pleasure to knock him on his ass and bring an abrupt end to his season. Who's # 1 now, punk?
I know, I take this stuff way too seriously. I can't help it. I'm competitive.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Tour De Ashland Race Report
PRE-RACE
I decided to run Tour De Ashland as a training run because I wanted to practice racing on a hilly course. I wasn't worried about how fast I was going to run or my finishing time. This was going to be strictly a training run. That all changed three days before the race when I made the mistake of looking at last year's race results. If last year was any indication, then I had a pretty decent chance of winning my age group.
Suddenly, I had to worry more about carb-loading, hydration, and sleep. Carb-loading and hydration were no problem. Sleep turned out to be the variable that wouldn't cooperate. My wife and our three year old were both battling colds, which meant our three year old was waking up throughout the night, which meant that I was waking up throughout the night. This happened both Thursday and Friday nights.
I'm usually pretty fired up on my way to a race but for this one I found myself fighting just to stay awake. It was about an 80 minute drive and even a Guns N Roses CD couldn't get the adrenaline flowing. I actually considered turning around and driving home and forgetting all about the race. But then I realized that if I went home I would still have to go out and run a 13 miler anyway, so I might as well go race.
I finally reached the highway exit and wandered into backwoods Ohio. I was hoping to pass a restaurant or somewhere with indoor plumbing but believe it or not, I was so far out in the sticks that I couldn't even find a McDonald's (which I would only ever consider using as a restroom option, never, never, never as a place to eat). I crested a hill and suddenly there was a hunter walking down the middle of the road, wearing an orange vest and carrying a rifle over his shoulder. The theme from Deliverance started playing in my head as I drove past him in my foreign car with the Obama bumper sticker prominently displayed. Fortunately, he didn't shoot.
Again, I wondered what possessed me to drive out here for this race. I kept driving and I was looking for a road called CR995. I was sure that I would never find it but just when I thought for sure I was lost, I stumbled upon it and cruised right to the high school stadium and the starting point for the race.
They were using the concession stand for registration. The line was about 10 deep as I quickly felt the 5 degree wind chill ripping across the field. As I reached the front of the line I noticed that they had boxes of Gu sitting there. I had enough with me to get through the race but I wasn't satisfied with the flavors that I had (Vanilla Bean and Plain) so I considered buying an Expresso Love flavored Gu for pre-race consumption. When I reached the front of the line the girl handed me my registration packet and then said, "you can take a Gu if you've tried them before." I thought that was kind of funny and smart at the same time. You certainly don't want to find out the hard way that your stomach and/or digestive system can't handle a gel "during" a race. Anyway, I grabbed a Gu and then they handed me my timing chip, with a twist tie to secure it to my shoe. Yes, a twist tie, think trash bags, loaves of bread. That kind of twist tie. I wasn't confident that a twist tie would survive for 13.1 miles but it wasn't a goal race so if my chip fell off then it fell off, no big deal.
I walked back to the car where I attached the chip and my race bib and then sat around trying to stay warm. It turned out I parked literally 30 feet from the starting line, which was literally an orange line spray painted on the street. Not exactly a marquee event. I waited as long as I could and then joined the rest of the runners at the starting line. I decided to keep my throwaway sweatshirt ($1.99 at Goodwill, thank you very much) on for the first couple of miles because as I may have mentioned, it was freezing and the wind was whipping and I was once again questioning my sanity.
A guy with a bullhorn was trying to communicate with us from about 50 yards away. I heard maybe one out of every ten words he said. Finally, it was time for the race to begin. But first, a word from the Mayor. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. We're standing out here freezing, waiting to race, and the Mayor of Ashland wants to say a few words. I think the collective groan from the crowd was enough to convince the Mayor to keep it very short and he kept his comments to under a minute. Finally, it was time to race.
THE RACE (click here for elevation chart)
I wanted to go out at around 7:15 pace and take it from there. I was hoping to bank some time early in the race before we reached the numerous hills that dotted the course. I had a tough time settling into the pace since we started out running downhill and then switched to uphill. I managed to run the first mile at 7:19 pace but it wasn't comfortable. By the end of the first mile we were already climbing and I finished mile 2 in 7:43. Sometime during mile 3 I threw off my throwaway sweatshirt as we settled into the easiest portion of the course. Splits for miles 3 through 5 were 7:25, 7:26, 7:25. Slower than I wanted to be running but I was struggling with the faster pace and kind of knew I didn't have my "A" game today.
During mile 5, a guy caught up to me and we started chatting. Well, mostly he was chatting and I was answering his questions. He wanted to know my goal time, etc. I told him that right now I thought I was on pace for about a 1:38 but I wasn't sure how bad the hills were going to be. He didn't know either. He kept asking questions, feeling me out and finally he asked about running marathons. As soon as I mentioned that I had run Boston, the whole vibe of the conversation shifted. I knew he was gunning for me. I pushed ahead of him at the next water station, pushed up a hill and then tried to make up some time on the downhill that followed. Miles 6 and 7 splits were 8:05, 7:41.
After mile 7, we hit the first major hill. We would be running uphill for the next 2 miles. I took it steady at 8:23, 8:23. Somewhere during mile 8, my new friend caught me again. I told him I was still having trouble finding my pace and then I let him move ahead of me. Vowing to keep him in sight and to overtake him later in the race.
We finally crested the hill and it was off to the races as we sped back down. The downhill was short lived, however, and before I knew it I was pushing back up yet another hill, the steepest and longest of the race. Mile 10 split was 8:03 and the brutal mile 11 split was a dismal 8:54. At this point I was wishing that I had a copy of the elevation chart with me (in the future, I might wear one as a wrist band) because at this point I couldn't remember what the rest of the course looked like so I didn't know if/when to make my final push. The only reassurance I had was that none of the runners ahead of me were gaining on me up the hills.
I tried to pick up the pace during mile 12 but we were running on a busy street with traffic in both directions (like I said, not exactly a marquee event) and the wind was blasting us right in the face. So although I felt like running hard my split was only 7:58.
Right at the mile 12 marker, a woman passed me. Now, when you pass someone late in a race, you have to pass them with confidence. You have to make sure that person knows that there is no possible way that they can keep up with you and so they shouldn't even try. The goal is to mentally break each runner that you pass. Apparently, she didn't get the memo. Shortly after she passed me, we went around a bend. She didn't run the tangent so I found myself right on her heels. Then another quick bend. I took the tangent, she didn't. I bolted past her and started my finishing kick.
I could see 4 runners ahead of me and thought that I could realistically reel in two of them. Three if I was lucky. The guy who I had vowed to keep in my sights and overtake at the end was the 4th guy. It didn't look like I was going to be able to catch him. I decided to concentrate on passing one runner at a time.
So I'm cruising uphill, into the wind (5 degree windchill), pushing as hard as I can and I manage to pass 2 guys pretty easily. I can still hear the woman pounding the pavement right behind me. She's not about to give up. We make a sharp left turn from the road onto this gravel stadium access road and my foot lands awkwardly and for a second I'm sure I'm going to fall. Somehow, I manage to keep my balance and it's only about 20 steps until I'm on the track.
One lap around the track to the finish line. I'm closing on the guy in front of me but the wind is just brutal and it feels almost like I'm running in place. I mentally remind myself that the wind is hitting the other runners just as hard so suck it up, and I keep pushing. I come around the final bend and realize I'm going to run out of time. I'm not going to catch the 2 guys in front of me. I push across the finish line in 1:43:53 (mile 13 and .1 splits, 7:58, 1:07).
They hand me my medal and a pretty sweet running hat as an age group award but they didn't tell me what place I finished in. I find the guy who I had been running with and had vowed to catch and congratulated him on a good race. Then I grabbed a gatorade and a bagel and headed for the car and some warm, dry clothes.
Later that evening, they posted the official race results and I couldn't believe it. The guy who I had let go ended up winning my age group beating me by 23 seconds and the guy who I came very close to catching at the very end, finished 2nd in my age group, beating me by 6 seconds. I had to settle for 3rd place and the knowledge that I could have done better.
But hey, it was supposed to be a training run. I got some much needed practice racing on hills, met a new (friendly) rival and for $25 I got a race shirt, a race hat, a medal, and a gu. Not bad.
I decided to run Tour De Ashland as a training run because I wanted to practice racing on a hilly course. I wasn't worried about how fast I was going to run or my finishing time. This was going to be strictly a training run. That all changed three days before the race when I made the mistake of looking at last year's race results. If last year was any indication, then I had a pretty decent chance of winning my age group.
Suddenly, I had to worry more about carb-loading, hydration, and sleep. Carb-loading and hydration were no problem. Sleep turned out to be the variable that wouldn't cooperate. My wife and our three year old were both battling colds, which meant our three year old was waking up throughout the night, which meant that I was waking up throughout the night. This happened both Thursday and Friday nights.
I'm usually pretty fired up on my way to a race but for this one I found myself fighting just to stay awake. It was about an 80 minute drive and even a Guns N Roses CD couldn't get the adrenaline flowing. I actually considered turning around and driving home and forgetting all about the race. But then I realized that if I went home I would still have to go out and run a 13 miler anyway, so I might as well go race.
I finally reached the highway exit and wandered into backwoods Ohio. I was hoping to pass a restaurant or somewhere with indoor plumbing but believe it or not, I was so far out in the sticks that I couldn't even find a McDonald's (which I would only ever consider using as a restroom option, never, never, never as a place to eat). I crested a hill and suddenly there was a hunter walking down the middle of the road, wearing an orange vest and carrying a rifle over his shoulder. The theme from Deliverance started playing in my head as I drove past him in my foreign car with the Obama bumper sticker prominently displayed. Fortunately, he didn't shoot.
Again, I wondered what possessed me to drive out here for this race. I kept driving and I was looking for a road called CR995. I was sure that I would never find it but just when I thought for sure I was lost, I stumbled upon it and cruised right to the high school stadium and the starting point for the race.
They were using the concession stand for registration. The line was about 10 deep as I quickly felt the 5 degree wind chill ripping across the field. As I reached the front of the line I noticed that they had boxes of Gu sitting there. I had enough with me to get through the race but I wasn't satisfied with the flavors that I had (Vanilla Bean and Plain) so I considered buying an Expresso Love flavored Gu for pre-race consumption. When I reached the front of the line the girl handed me my registration packet and then said, "you can take a Gu if you've tried them before." I thought that was kind of funny and smart at the same time. You certainly don't want to find out the hard way that your stomach and/or digestive system can't handle a gel "during" a race. Anyway, I grabbed a Gu and then they handed me my timing chip, with a twist tie to secure it to my shoe. Yes, a twist tie, think trash bags, loaves of bread. That kind of twist tie. I wasn't confident that a twist tie would survive for 13.1 miles but it wasn't a goal race so if my chip fell off then it fell off, no big deal.
I walked back to the car where I attached the chip and my race bib and then sat around trying to stay warm. It turned out I parked literally 30 feet from the starting line, which was literally an orange line spray painted on the street. Not exactly a marquee event. I waited as long as I could and then joined the rest of the runners at the starting line. I decided to keep my throwaway sweatshirt ($1.99 at Goodwill, thank you very much) on for the first couple of miles because as I may have mentioned, it was freezing and the wind was whipping and I was once again questioning my sanity.
A guy with a bullhorn was trying to communicate with us from about 50 yards away. I heard maybe one out of every ten words he said. Finally, it was time for the race to begin. But first, a word from the Mayor. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. We're standing out here freezing, waiting to race, and the Mayor of Ashland wants to say a few words. I think the collective groan from the crowd was enough to convince the Mayor to keep it very short and he kept his comments to under a minute. Finally, it was time to race.
THE RACE (click here for elevation chart)
I wanted to go out at around 7:15 pace and take it from there. I was hoping to bank some time early in the race before we reached the numerous hills that dotted the course. I had a tough time settling into the pace since we started out running downhill and then switched to uphill. I managed to run the first mile at 7:19 pace but it wasn't comfortable. By the end of the first mile we were already climbing and I finished mile 2 in 7:43. Sometime during mile 3 I threw off my throwaway sweatshirt as we settled into the easiest portion of the course. Splits for miles 3 through 5 were 7:25, 7:26, 7:25. Slower than I wanted to be running but I was struggling with the faster pace and kind of knew I didn't have my "A" game today.
During mile 5, a guy caught up to me and we started chatting. Well, mostly he was chatting and I was answering his questions. He wanted to know my goal time, etc. I told him that right now I thought I was on pace for about a 1:38 but I wasn't sure how bad the hills were going to be. He didn't know either. He kept asking questions, feeling me out and finally he asked about running marathons. As soon as I mentioned that I had run Boston, the whole vibe of the conversation shifted. I knew he was gunning for me. I pushed ahead of him at the next water station, pushed up a hill and then tried to make up some time on the downhill that followed. Miles 6 and 7 splits were 8:05, 7:41.
After mile 7, we hit the first major hill. We would be running uphill for the next 2 miles. I took it steady at 8:23, 8:23. Somewhere during mile 8, my new friend caught me again. I told him I was still having trouble finding my pace and then I let him move ahead of me. Vowing to keep him in sight and to overtake him later in the race.
We finally crested the hill and it was off to the races as we sped back down. The downhill was short lived, however, and before I knew it I was pushing back up yet another hill, the steepest and longest of the race. Mile 10 split was 8:03 and the brutal mile 11 split was a dismal 8:54. At this point I was wishing that I had a copy of the elevation chart with me (in the future, I might wear one as a wrist band) because at this point I couldn't remember what the rest of the course looked like so I didn't know if/when to make my final push. The only reassurance I had was that none of the runners ahead of me were gaining on me up the hills.
I tried to pick up the pace during mile 12 but we were running on a busy street with traffic in both directions (like I said, not exactly a marquee event) and the wind was blasting us right in the face. So although I felt like running hard my split was only 7:58.
Right at the mile 12 marker, a woman passed me. Now, when you pass someone late in a race, you have to pass them with confidence. You have to make sure that person knows that there is no possible way that they can keep up with you and so they shouldn't even try. The goal is to mentally break each runner that you pass. Apparently, she didn't get the memo. Shortly after she passed me, we went around a bend. She didn't run the tangent so I found myself right on her heels. Then another quick bend. I took the tangent, she didn't. I bolted past her and started my finishing kick.
I could see 4 runners ahead of me and thought that I could realistically reel in two of them. Three if I was lucky. The guy who I had vowed to keep in my sights and overtake at the end was the 4th guy. It didn't look like I was going to be able to catch him. I decided to concentrate on passing one runner at a time.
So I'm cruising uphill, into the wind (5 degree windchill), pushing as hard as I can and I manage to pass 2 guys pretty easily. I can still hear the woman pounding the pavement right behind me. She's not about to give up. We make a sharp left turn from the road onto this gravel stadium access road and my foot lands awkwardly and for a second I'm sure I'm going to fall. Somehow, I manage to keep my balance and it's only about 20 steps until I'm on the track.
One lap around the track to the finish line. I'm closing on the guy in front of me but the wind is just brutal and it feels almost like I'm running in place. I mentally remind myself that the wind is hitting the other runners just as hard so suck it up, and I keep pushing. I come around the final bend and realize I'm going to run out of time. I'm not going to catch the 2 guys in front of me. I push across the finish line in 1:43:53 (mile 13 and .1 splits, 7:58, 1:07).
They hand me my medal and a pretty sweet running hat as an age group award but they didn't tell me what place I finished in. I find the guy who I had been running with and had vowed to catch and congratulated him on a good race. Then I grabbed a gatorade and a bagel and headed for the car and some warm, dry clothes.
Later that evening, they posted the official race results and I couldn't believe it. The guy who I had let go ended up winning my age group beating me by 23 seconds and the guy who I came very close to catching at the very end, finished 2nd in my age group, beating me by 6 seconds. I had to settle for 3rd place and the knowledge that I could have done better.
But hey, it was supposed to be a training run. I got some much needed practice racing on hills, met a new (friendly) rival and for $25 I got a race shirt, a race hat, a medal, and a gu. Not bad.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Welfare Rats, Part 3
I was just listening to the radio and I heard a PR guy for the Big Three automakers. Oh boy. If I ever need to hire a spin doctor I will look this guy up. First of all, he was one of these loud, excited guys, who try to intimidate you with their tone of voice and energy. When asked if the fact that 60% of Americans were against the bailout was bad for the automakers chances of receiving corporate welfare, he jumped all over it. Wowwee!!! It turns out we've been looking at this all wrong. As he explained, it's not so much that 60% are against the bailout, it's that 40% are FOR IT!!! 40%!!!! What a great starting point!
At this point, I was taking notes, because this is a guy I want selling whatever it is I'm selling. But then he went a bit too far. As you may have heard, the automakers are claiming that 10% of all jobs in the USA are in some way related to the automaker. This has been used as a fear tactic by the automaker in that god help the economy if the automakers go under and 10% of the US work force is suddenly unemployed.
Well, this guy tried to emphasize this claim. Exaggerate this claim to the point where he exposed the claim as false. He gave the old, "every car has a computer and a battery and an electrical system and all these companies who make these components will be at risk if the automakers fail". What I heard is that all of these companies are diverse enough to survive if/when the American automakers fail. And suddenly, BAM, he lost me.
I was with him. I was all "amen" and "hallelujah", but then he went and oversold the product. I should have known from the start. Anytime a salesman has to scream and yell and try to get all biblical on you, it's mainly because his product sucks. It was then that I realized that it would probably be a good thing if spin doctors like him lost their jobs as a result of the automakers problems.
You had me at hello. You should have shut up way before I said goodbye.
At this point, I was taking notes, because this is a guy I want selling whatever it is I'm selling. But then he went a bit too far. As you may have heard, the automakers are claiming that 10% of all jobs in the USA are in some way related to the automaker. This has been used as a fear tactic by the automaker in that god help the economy if the automakers go under and 10% of the US work force is suddenly unemployed.
Well, this guy tried to emphasize this claim. Exaggerate this claim to the point where he exposed the claim as false. He gave the old, "every car has a computer and a battery and an electrical system and all these companies who make these components will be at risk if the automakers fail". What I heard is that all of these companies are diverse enough to survive if/when the American automakers fail. And suddenly, BAM, he lost me.
I was with him. I was all "amen" and "hallelujah", but then he went and oversold the product. I should have known from the start. Anytime a salesman has to scream and yell and try to get all biblical on you, it's mainly because his product sucks. It was then that I realized that it would probably be a good thing if spin doctors like him lost their jobs as a result of the automakers problems.
You had me at hello. You should have shut up way before I said goodbye.
Money Fixes Everything
Did anyone catch that millionaire "reality" show last night? I missed the first half hour or so but picked it up when the father and son were in the grocery store and met the woman who was buying maybe 10 gallons of milk. My first thought was that personally, I'm in a grocery store several times per week, which gives me over 100 opportunities per year to randomly check out in front of someone who was buying 10 gallons of milk and just happens to feed the homeless, yet it has never happened to me. I immediately wondered how "random" this encounter was. But I know, it's show biz, and there's usually nothing "real" about "reality" shows, so I let it slide.
Next, they "randomly" go to the quicky mart and notice a donation jar for a little girl who has cancer. The clerk seems to know just a little too much about her situation, but again, it's TV. Next comes the tear jerker scene where they meet the little girl with cancer and her parents who have no health care.
After the commercial break, the father and son have to make some tough decisions. Who would they give their money to and how much? In one of the only honest moments of the entire program, the son waxes about how he always thought that the poor were poor because they were dumb and ignorant, but now he realizes that maybe it is the rich who are ignorant, because they fail to understand that many of the things that happen to people that puts them in these situations could happen to anybody. There is almost an epiphany when he realizes that the amount of money in your bank account doesn't necessarily equate with intelligence. He goes on to say that ordinarily he would never even step foot in these neighborhoods let alone find himself bonding with these people who were born without a silver spoon. I was left with the feeling that this kid might just benefit from his appearance on this show.
Then of course, the disgusting conclusion of the show. Where the duo dress up like rich people, get in their Mercedes SUV and "confront" these "poor" folk. They make a big deal about showing how truly "sorry" they are to have "lied" to these people about who they are. Yes, we lied about being "one of you", (choke back a sob), "we're really, (choke back another sob), fortunate enough to be millionaires." (sob, sob, sob...looks of anger and dismay from the suckers). But...it's all good because we're about to throw money at you!!!!!! Please, we want you to accept this check for (at this point I'm expecting it to be a million dollars) $25,000. The recipient is happy, me, the viewer, is not. But they still have two more "poor people" to "help", so I'm guessing they're going to give the million to the little girl with cancer.
We have to wait while they give $50,000 to the grocery store milk woman who helps the homeless, then finally on to the cancer girl and our exciting finale. I'm still operating under the mistaken premise that these millionaires are going to give away a million dollars, so I'm expecting the cancer girl to get a whopping $925,000. I'm even giving my beautiful wife a harsh glance as she comments on how ridiculous this whole program is.
Finally, the climax. They knock on cancer girl's door. Her father steps out of the house. We lied to you, we're not like you, we're rich...blah blah blah. Please accept this check for....$50,000. Are you fucking kidding me? This girl has cancer! Her family has no health care insurance! Do you have any idea how far $50,000 will go? One treatment? Two? How fucking out of touch with reality are you people? My wife is even more irate. She points out that if these people are receiving Medicaid then this $50,000 totally fucks them as they have to report it and as a result will likely lose whatever benefits they previously had. Holy shit.
But it's all good. Because in the final scene, the rich, superior people get to ride back home in their private boat and talk about how much they learned from this experience and how much they "helped" these people in need.
While we were still reeling from what we had just witnessed, Fox tried to suck us into a second episode. We passed. And hopefully, America will do the same.
Next, they "randomly" go to the quicky mart and notice a donation jar for a little girl who has cancer. The clerk seems to know just a little too much about her situation, but again, it's TV. Next comes the tear jerker scene where they meet the little girl with cancer and her parents who have no health care.
After the commercial break, the father and son have to make some tough decisions. Who would they give their money to and how much? In one of the only honest moments of the entire program, the son waxes about how he always thought that the poor were poor because they were dumb and ignorant, but now he realizes that maybe it is the rich who are ignorant, because they fail to understand that many of the things that happen to people that puts them in these situations could happen to anybody. There is almost an epiphany when he realizes that the amount of money in your bank account doesn't necessarily equate with intelligence. He goes on to say that ordinarily he would never even step foot in these neighborhoods let alone find himself bonding with these people who were born without a silver spoon. I was left with the feeling that this kid might just benefit from his appearance on this show.
Then of course, the disgusting conclusion of the show. Where the duo dress up like rich people, get in their Mercedes SUV and "confront" these "poor" folk. They make a big deal about showing how truly "sorry" they are to have "lied" to these people about who they are. Yes, we lied about being "one of you", (choke back a sob), "we're really, (choke back another sob), fortunate enough to be millionaires." (sob, sob, sob...looks of anger and dismay from the suckers). But...it's all good because we're about to throw money at you!!!!!! Please, we want you to accept this check for (at this point I'm expecting it to be a million dollars) $25,000. The recipient is happy, me, the viewer, is not. But they still have two more "poor people" to "help", so I'm guessing they're going to give the million to the little girl with cancer.
We have to wait while they give $50,000 to the grocery store milk woman who helps the homeless, then finally on to the cancer girl and our exciting finale. I'm still operating under the mistaken premise that these millionaires are going to give away a million dollars, so I'm expecting the cancer girl to get a whopping $925,000. I'm even giving my beautiful wife a harsh glance as she comments on how ridiculous this whole program is.
Finally, the climax. They knock on cancer girl's door. Her father steps out of the house. We lied to you, we're not like you, we're rich...blah blah blah. Please accept this check for....$50,000. Are you fucking kidding me? This girl has cancer! Her family has no health care insurance! Do you have any idea how far $50,000 will go? One treatment? Two? How fucking out of touch with reality are you people? My wife is even more irate. She points out that if these people are receiving Medicaid then this $50,000 totally fucks them as they have to report it and as a result will likely lose whatever benefits they previously had. Holy shit.
But it's all good. Because in the final scene, the rich, superior people get to ride back home in their private boat and talk about how much they learned from this experience and how much they "helped" these people in need.
While we were still reeling from what we had just witnessed, Fox tried to suck us into a second episode. We passed. And hopefully, America will do the same.
Piss On It
The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame just opened a satellite museum in New York City. Joel Peresman, CEO of the Hall of Fame Foundation said, "the idea comes from wanting to draw more awareness to the Cleveland museum...In Cleveland we tell the whole history of rock & roll. Here we are showing a snapshot."
Am I the only one not buying into this story? Look out, Cleveland. NYC just took the first step toward stealing the Hall of Fame from you. Mark my words, watch over the next few years as the NYC museum gets bigger and bigger and the tourism numbers climb. Once the tourism numbers eclipse those that can be attained in Cleveland, turn out the lights.
Although, if the initial NYC exhibits are any indication, I'd say that for now, Cleveland is safe. I mean, the urinal from CBGB's on display? For those of us who have been to CBGB's, that's just gross. And probably hazardous to your health. Out of all the filthy rock & roll bathrooms that I've had the misfortune of using over the years, CBGB's definitely ranked (no pun intended) in the top 5 in the most disgusting category. In fact, off the top of my head, I can't think of a more disgusting bathroom than CBGB's, and I've been in disgusting rock & roll bathrooms from coast to coast. But I guess if enough rock stars pissed in it then people will pay to look at it.
Sorry for the urinary digression. This was meant to be a simple warning to all the good folks of Cleveland (and the rest of the people in Cleveland too) that your beloved museum is going to be stolen right out from under you unless you stop it right now. Kind of like when Baltimore stole your Browns. Ouch! I bet that still hurts. Sorry I brought it up. Although maybe that's the motivation you'll need to keep NYC from claiming your R&R museum.
Am I the only one not buying into this story? Look out, Cleveland. NYC just took the first step toward stealing the Hall of Fame from you. Mark my words, watch over the next few years as the NYC museum gets bigger and bigger and the tourism numbers climb. Once the tourism numbers eclipse those that can be attained in Cleveland, turn out the lights.
Although, if the initial NYC exhibits are any indication, I'd say that for now, Cleveland is safe. I mean, the urinal from CBGB's on display? For those of us who have been to CBGB's, that's just gross. And probably hazardous to your health. Out of all the filthy rock & roll bathrooms that I've had the misfortune of using over the years, CBGB's definitely ranked (no pun intended) in the top 5 in the most disgusting category. In fact, off the top of my head, I can't think of a more disgusting bathroom than CBGB's, and I've been in disgusting rock & roll bathrooms from coast to coast. But I guess if enough rock stars pissed in it then people will pay to look at it.
Sorry for the urinary digression. This was meant to be a simple warning to all the good folks of Cleveland (and the rest of the people in Cleveland too) that your beloved museum is going to be stolen right out from under you unless you stop it right now. Kind of like when Baltimore stole your Browns. Ouch! I bet that still hurts. Sorry I brought it up. Although maybe that's the motivation you'll need to keep NYC from claiming your R&R museum.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Don't Click That Link
Why did I do it? I knew I shouldn't do it but I did it anyway. I was all set to race the Tour De Ashland Half Marathon this weekend as a training run. It's a good, hilly course that I just wanted to use as practice for the Boston Marathon.
It all started when I printed the course map and elevation chart. I should have walked away from the computer right then and there. But no, I had to click the link for the 2007 Race Results. Why? Why? Why?
If I hadn't done it I never would have known that the guy who won my age group last year finished in 1:39:09 (7:34 pace). If I hadn't learned this, I never would have started thinking that even if the hills cost me 10 seconds per mile, I can still beat that time. I wouldn't be spending the next 3 days agonizing over how hard (or easy) I should run this race.
In the end, I know what's going to happen. I'm going to push it to the limit. Race so hard that I puke at the finish line and then find out that someone beat me by 30 seconds. You watch.
What I really need to do is just run my race and not worry about it. If I do well in my age group then great. Because you never know who will show up on race day. Just because 1:39 was good enough to win last year doesn't mean that this year someone won't bust out a 1:30. And I really don't know how tough the hills are. Will they take 2 minutes off of my time? 10 minutes? Time will tell.
Oh...and Lisa, if you're reading this. Last year's winner in your age group ran 1:48:27, but you already knew that. Oh yes you did.
It all started when I printed the course map and elevation chart. I should have walked away from the computer right then and there. But no, I had to click the link for the 2007 Race Results. Why? Why? Why?
If I hadn't done it I never would have known that the guy who won my age group last year finished in 1:39:09 (7:34 pace). If I hadn't learned this, I never would have started thinking that even if the hills cost me 10 seconds per mile, I can still beat that time. I wouldn't be spending the next 3 days agonizing over how hard (or easy) I should run this race.
In the end, I know what's going to happen. I'm going to push it to the limit. Race so hard that I puke at the finish line and then find out that someone beat me by 30 seconds. You watch.
What I really need to do is just run my race and not worry about it. If I do well in my age group then great. Because you never know who will show up on race day. Just because 1:39 was good enough to win last year doesn't mean that this year someone won't bust out a 1:30. And I really don't know how tough the hills are. Will they take 2 minutes off of my time? 10 minutes? Time will tell.
Oh...and Lisa, if you're reading this. Last year's winner in your age group ran 1:48:27, but you already knew that. Oh yes you did.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Sales To Die For
Let me just start by saying that anyone who gets up in the middle of the night to go Christmas shopping a month early deserves to die. You do. If you get up at 3am or 4am to go "buy shit" and you end up dying, I have no sympathy for you.
However, when you start stampeding and killing store employees, now I have a problem. I'm sure that in the end, after all lawsuits have been settled, Walmart will still come out ahead. But WTF?
Walmart, and many other stores, ran TV ads non-stop leading up to "Black Friday", each store trying to out do the other. Some tried to gain an advantage with limited time sale prices. Some tried to gain an advantage by opening an hour earlier than their rival. The bottom line is, you baited these poor saps. You wanted them to line up early. You asked for a stampede.
You knew that you only had "x" units of "y" product. You could have used wrist bands or some other system that would ensure buyers that they either would or would not be able to purchase the item(s) that they had lined up to buy. Instead, you chose a stampede. You could have retained order, instead you chose chaos.
Let the buyer beware and let the lawsuits begin.
However, when you start stampeding and killing store employees, now I have a problem. I'm sure that in the end, after all lawsuits have been settled, Walmart will still come out ahead. But WTF?
Walmart, and many other stores, ran TV ads non-stop leading up to "Black Friday", each store trying to out do the other. Some tried to gain an advantage with limited time sale prices. Some tried to gain an advantage by opening an hour earlier than their rival. The bottom line is, you baited these poor saps. You wanted them to line up early. You asked for a stampede.
You knew that you only had "x" units of "y" product. You could have used wrist bands or some other system that would ensure buyers that they either would or would not be able to purchase the item(s) that they had lined up to buy. Instead, you chose a stampede. You could have retained order, instead you chose chaos.
Let the buyer beware and let the lawsuits begin.
Sobriety'd Be Fine...
At bottom, is a photo of our fatuous "leader" allegedly drinking a "pisco sour" at the APEC conference in Peru. It's only news because everyone (including him) pretends that he's been sober since he turned 40.
On top, is a reportedly "falling down drunk" Bush, at the Olympics. His Olympic trip was filled with bizarre (drunken?)behavior, like playing grab-ass with a female Beach Volleyball player. Literally.
The National Enquirer is reporting that Bush has been drinking since shortly after 9/11. Which would explain a lot. I know, it's the Enquirer. But let's not forget, they were the one's who nailed (no pun intended)the John Edwards affair story. I'm just saying.
I don't think anyone would be surprised to learn that the guy has been drinking on the job for the last 7 years. You want to have a drink? Have a drink. But don't hide it. Don't fake it. Don't front. It's the worst lie the media has embraced since the Brittany Spears is saving herself for marriage publicity stunt.
Listen, Duh. In 2 months, you can stagger back to your ranch and drink yourself into a coma, for all I care. Just don't lie about it. We all know what's in those non-alcoholic beers that you're so fond of. You want a beer? Drink a beer. It's as bad as Michael Jackson drinking wine out of a Pepsi can.
It reminds me of a lyric to an old Bill Deasy song. "I keep on drinking even though I quit. Sobriety'd be fine if I just got the hang of it."
PUMA's My Ass
This morning, President-elect Barack Obama announced his national security team: Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, Bob Gates as Secretary of Defense, Jim Jones as National Security Adviser, and Susan Rice as Ambassador to the UN.
This is all most bizarre because as anyone who watched Fox "news" during the Democratic National Convention can tell you, the Democrat (sic) Party is in shambles. Hillary supporters, dubbed PUMA's (Party Unity My Ass), were taking to the streets denouncing Obama in front of every Fox camera that they could find. Only to suspiciously drive away in their Hummer moments later, off to the next photo op. The Democrat (sic) Party was on the verge of implosion.
So how can it be that after all of this inner-party turmoil, Obama can select Hillary as Secretary of State? Isn't she an arch enemy? A traitor to her own political party? It just doesn't make any sense.
Note to Fox: Next time you decide to "create" news instead of reporting news, have your shills drive off in a Prius or a Honda. No one with half a brain would ever really believe that Hillary fanatics would drive a Hummer. The key to any successful con is in the details. You should know that by now.
OK. Enough of me being silly. It really is great that Hillary will be so deeply involved in Team Obama. It's very exciting. Although, when Obama introduced her this morning as his "dear friend", that may have been just a little over the top. So far, so good.
This is all most bizarre because as anyone who watched Fox "news" during the Democratic National Convention can tell you, the Democrat (sic) Party is in shambles. Hillary supporters, dubbed PUMA's (Party Unity My Ass), were taking to the streets denouncing Obama in front of every Fox camera that they could find. Only to suspiciously drive away in their Hummer moments later, off to the next photo op. The Democrat (sic) Party was on the verge of implosion.
So how can it be that after all of this inner-party turmoil, Obama can select Hillary as Secretary of State? Isn't she an arch enemy? A traitor to her own political party? It just doesn't make any sense.
Note to Fox: Next time you decide to "create" news instead of reporting news, have your shills drive off in a Prius or a Honda. No one with half a brain would ever really believe that Hillary fanatics would drive a Hummer. The key to any successful con is in the details. You should know that by now.
OK. Enough of me being silly. It really is great that Hillary will be so deeply involved in Team Obama. It's very exciting. Although, when Obama introduced her this morning as his "dear friend", that may have been just a little over the top. So far, so good.
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