Welfare Rats, Part 3

I was just listening to the radio and I heard a PR guy for the Big Three automakers. Oh boy. If I ever need to hire a spin doctor I will look this guy up. First of all, he was one of these loud, excited guys, who try to intimidate you with their tone of voice and energy. When asked if the fact that 60% of Americans were against the bailout was bad for the automakers chances of receiving corporate welfare, he jumped all over it. Wowwee!!! It turns out we've been looking at this all wrong. As he explained, it's not so much that 60% are against the bailout, it's that 40% are FOR IT!!! 40%!!!! What a great starting point!

At this point, I was taking notes, because this is a guy I want selling whatever it is I'm selling. But then he went a bit too far. As you may have heard, the automakers are claiming that 10% of all jobs in the USA are in some way related to the automaker. This has been used as a fear tactic by the automaker in that god help the economy if the automakers go under and 10% of the US work force is suddenly unemployed.

Well, this guy tried to emphasize this claim. Exaggerate this claim to the point where he exposed the claim as false. He gave the old, "every car has a computer and a battery and an electrical system and all these companies who make these components will be at risk if the automakers fail". What I heard is that all of these companies are diverse enough to survive if/when the American automakers fail. And suddenly, BAM, he lost me.

I was with him. I was all "amen" and "hallelujah", but then he went and oversold the product. I should have known from the start. Anytime a salesman has to scream and yell and try to get all biblical on you, it's mainly because his product sucks. It was then that I realized that it would probably be a good thing if spin doctors like him lost their jobs as a result of the automakers problems.

You had me at hello. You should have shut up way before I said goodbye.