How To Handle The Phone Calls

With 5 weeks until the election, your phone is likely to be buzzing with unwanted phone calls from political groups and survey groups. Just hang up on the political groups. You can be more creative with the survey groups. As an example, here is a conversation I had last night:

Me: Hello?
Surveyor: This is blah blah...we're conducting a survey for blah blah. Can I speak to the male head of household registered voter?

Me: You can speak to me but I do charge a fee for my answers.
Surveyor: How much do you charge?

Me: How many questions do you have?
Surveyor: Seven.

Me: I can answer 7 questions for $200.
Surveyor: (laughing) OK, the check is in the mail.

Me: Actually, I can take a check by phone before we start. If you can please read me the bank routing number on the bottom left of the check.
Surveyor: (laughing) I'm not going to pay you for your answers.

Me: Why not? You're getting paid for asking me the questions, right?
Surveyor: Yes, I'm getting an hourly rate.

Me: OK, and the company who is paying you the hourly rate, they're getting paid to compile the answers, right?
Surveyor: Right.

Me: Well, it seems to me that I'm the only one who isn't getting paid and I'm the person who has the answers that your company needs.
Surveyor: (laughing) You have a good day, sir.

Me: Thanks for being a good sport.

Mind you, they usually get confused and/or irritated long before this and hang up. But last night I was fortunate enough to have a person with a brain and a sense of humor. You don't have to be mean about it. Have fun with it, waste a couple minutes of the surveyors time, and leave them with nothing.

If you answer their questions, it only encourages them to keep calling.

One more word of warning. A lot of these companies are using cell phones this time around. So if your caller id shows a cell number that you don't recognize, pick it up and have some fun. If you let it go to voice mail, they'll just keep calling.

And remember, in 5 weeks, this will all be over. Until the next time.